The Family Feud Over Something Worth $12

Nobody wanted to argue about the money.

The bank accounts could be divided. The house would be sold. Everyone agreed on what to do with the car, and nobody seemed particularly interested in the furniture.

Then somebody mentioned the yellow mixing bowl. Suddenly, three grown siblings had very strong opinions.

Their mother had owned the bowl for more than forty years. It wasn’t antique. It wasn’t rare. There were no famous markings on the bottom, and an appraiser wouldn’t have given it a second glance. On a good day at a garage sale, someone might have paid twelve dollars for it.

But that wasn’t the point. That was the bowl Mom used every Thanksgiving. It was the bowl that sat on the counter when she made birthday cakes. One daughter remembered standing on a kitchen chair beside it while her mother taught her how to make biscuits. Her brother remembered being allowed to lick the beaters.

Nobody was fighting over twelve dollars. They were fighting over Mom.

Attorneys and paralegals who work with estates have probably seen some version of this story before. Families can make perfectly rational decisions about assets worth thousands of dollars and then become completely stuck over an object with almost no financial value at all.

It might be Dad’s fishing pole. Grandma’s Christmas ornaments. A pocket watch that doesn’t work. An old cast-iron skillet. A collection of handwritten recipe cards held together with a rubber band.

Sometimes it’s a piece of furniture that every grandchild remembers from the family home. Sometimes it’s a photograph nobody knew existed until everyone saw it at the same time.

Whatever the object happens to be, the problem is the same. You can’t put sentimental value on a spreadsheet.

That can be difficult for families because probate requires them to make practical decisions during an incredibly emotional time. They’re being asked to inventory belongings, determine values, divide property, sell assets, sign documents, meet deadlines, and make choices about objects that may represent an entire lifetime of memories.

To an outsider, it’s just a bowl. To the person who remembers sitting at the kitchen counter with Mom, it may be one of the few things in the house they desperately want to keep.

This is also why clearing out an estate can produce surprises that have nothing to do with hidden fortunes.

Everyone expects there could be disagreements over the house, money, jewelry, or valuable collections. Those are obvious assets, and families usually know they’re going to require decisions.

The emotional landmines are often much smaller. One person takes Dad’s toolbox because nobody else seemed interested, only to discover that his brother assumed it would be his. Someone gives away Grandma’s dishes without realizing a granddaughter wanted them. A box of Christmas decorations disappears during the cleanout, and suddenly everyone remembers the handmade ornament that’s been hanging on the tree since 1976.

The financial loss may be practically nothing. The hurt feelings can last for years.

That’s one reason experienced probate professionals understand that administering an estate isn’t only about documents, deadlines, and dollar amounts. There are people attached to all of it, and those people don’t always behave according to appraised value.

Sometimes giving families a little time to talk about sentimental belongings before everything starts moving out of the house can prevent unnecessary conflict. It also gives everyone an opportunity to identify the things that matter to them before someone assumes an old box, chair, set of dishes, or yellow mixing bowl is just something else to donate.

Of course, even the most thoughtful approach won’t guarantee perfect harmony.

Put siblings, grief, childhood memories, and forty years of family history in the same room, and things can get complicated. That’s already plenty for you and your clients to manage.

At Probate Bond Pros, our job is to make sure obtaining the probate bond doesn’t add another disagreement, delay, or headache to the process. We’ve built a straightforward system backed by responsive service and our two-hour guarantee, so you can get the bond handled and turn your attention back to the parts of the estate that actually need it.

When a probate bond lands on your desk, send it our way. Click HERE to request a bond or call 727-748-2886, and let Probate Bond Pros make at least one part of the case pleasantly uneventful.

To your success,

Darren Vermost
The Bond Guy®